This essay
described my experience at a 2003 conference on bisexuality. While attending
a workshop on social research on bisexuality, I heard an attendee describe
bisexual behavior, when combined with choosing a gay identity label,
as normative; this statement came after the group learned that white
men who have sex with men and women are more likely to identify as gay,
while black men who have sex with men and women are more likely to identify
as bi. The attendee surmised that black men break from this "norm"
because of homophobia in black community.
The
comments implied that black men who have sex with men and women would
call themselves gay – ie., would do what [a survey on male sexuality
reported that] white men [who have sex with men and women tend to] do
– were it not for some [black] community-based hindrance. It's
as though the choices white men make are the norm against which we should
be comparing men of other races.
Research shows
that no group, apart from IV drug users, is more stigmatized than bisexuals.
Therefore the attendee's implication – that blacks choose a bi
label because it's so much harder to be gay [in black community] –
doesn't make much sense. Moreover, the implication is racist, because
it marginalizes the experience of black men making choices in identity.
It presumes that no black man would choose "bi" were it not
for the strength of homophobia in the black community.
I went to the Bi
Conference excited to immerse myself in community. I saw workshops on
defining bisexuality, bi health issues, bi relationships, love, sex,
science, art, and so much more. I put it all together and thought, "These
are my people, my fellow bisexuals, my lovers and friends, my advocates
and allies, whom I fight for and with every day that I out myself and
speak my truth." Wouldn't you know it, just like out there in the
monosexual-centric world that I butt heads with every time I give myself
permission to love and breathe, here too we have those among us who
would internalize biphobia, give voice to racist notions, and marginalize
me?
I came away sadder
and wiser, realizing that we [in the bi community] are made up of the
same people who challenge my race politics and my bi politics across
the board. Nevertheless, I'm still glad I came to the conference because
the experience strengthened my resolve to keep fighting racism and biphobia,
wherever I find them.
