Last Friday night,
my girlfriend and I went on a date. Dinner and movie. I picked the movie.
I had been hearing a lot about this new film, Kissing Jessica Stein.
I had heard that it was a film about two women in a relationship. I
had heard that the ending sucked; that it was full of stereotypes about
lesbian relationships; that one of the women "goes back to being
straight"; that the two women are "experimenting" and
"bi-curious".
Being bi, and curious
about this movie (and nothing else), I knew that I had to see this for
myself. My girl, a lesbian, was curious about it too. Hence, it became
part of our plans for our date.
Before
I continue, I have to say this: I loved this movie. This article, therefore,
will be biased in this direction. What did I love about it? Well, for
one thing, I could definitely relate with the main character, Jessica
Stein, in many ways. She's a bisexual Jew living in New York, and I'm
a bisexual Jew originally from New York. She's a femme. I'm a femme.
She's artistic. I'm artistic. She's obsessed with lipstick shades. I'm...
well, maybe the similarities end there. Nonetheless, quality films about
bi women are few and far between. I am grateful to see any authentic
representation of our lives.
The film follows
Jessica Stein's coming out process. It shows us: what draws her to her
first female lover (a shared admiration for an author's quote), how
she comes out to family and friends (through poignant and hilarious
trial and error), the progression of the relationship (sex, love, and
the U-haul -- boy does that sound familiar!), and the break-up (bed
death, processing, tears, and the establishment of a great post-break-up
friendship). Sounds good, huh?
But
for some reason, every review I read -- most of which were
in the LGBT press -- painted a very negative picture of
this story, especially regarding its ending. This strikes
me as odd, considering the fact that this film depicts a
fairly universal experience in the lives of LGBT people.
Who doesn't have a coming out story? A tale of love and
loss? A friend who used to be a lover?
I have seen in
a number of reviews take issue with the idea that Jessica Stein "ends
up straight" because a closing scene shows her flirting with a
man. But, how is that "straight"? Some bi women flirt with
men. And some bi women flirt with women. (Some of us don't even distinguish
between/ among genders; we just flirt with human beings!) It's a fact
of bi women's lives.
Jessica's ex-girlfriend
ends the movie in a relationship with another woman. Does that mean
that she's "ending up lesbian"? No. She's just as bi as Jessica,
and for the same reason. Like most bisexuals, the two women experience
their sexuality through relationships with both men and women, and remain
bi regardless of the genders of the people they "end up" dating.
Jessica is not "experimenting"; love is no experiment. The
film is about an authentic experience, that of a woman's first same-sex
love affair.
Just watching the
film was a treat in and of itself. I could tell who in the audience
was Jewish and who was bi, just by listening for where the laughter
was coming from during the many hilarious pieces of dialogue. It was
like a surround-sound effect, only with giggles of recognition and chuckles
of appreciation at the many references made to bi and Jewish cultures
throughout the film.
The part that touched
my heart the most is when Jessica comes out to her best friend, who
excitedly launches a barrage of questions. "Is she as smart as
you?" "Yes." "Does she get you?" "Yes."
Jessica beams and clutches a couch pillow as her eyes dance with the
delight of this realization of impending love. Who among us doesn't
want someone to "get" us? Who wouldn't radiate with the glee
of finding the person who does? It is a moment as real as it gets.
The
two lead actresses had performed the script as a play for
a few years before turning it into a film. Their familiarity
and comfort with the characters is very apparent; yet, the
acting is not at all stale. They remain fresh and true,
with a clear awareness of their audience that can only come
from experience on the stage. For these reasons and more,
I recommend that all bi women, as well as our friends, lovers,
admirers, and allies in the greater LGBT community, check
out this film, and see which scenes ring true for you!
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